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When it comes to having children at a wedding, everyone and their mother seems to have an opinion. And they will make sure you know what they think! If you are undecided about having children at your wedding, we are here to help you make that decision. Last week we shared some pros to inviting children to your wedding. Today we want to talk about the cons of inviting children to your wedding.
Weddings already require a lot of planning. Inviting children to your wedding will require even more planning. You’ll need to plan for a kid’s table, a quiet activity, and possibly other kid-friendly aspects for your wedding. While in the grand scheme of things it isn’t a lot of extra planning, it is one more thing that will be added to list.
Guests that are parents (and possibly not just the parents) will have their attention divided on your wedding day. This is totally understandable as they are responsible for the needs of their children. But, you will need to be fine with sharing their attention. Photos might need to wait while your bridesmaid makes sure that her littles have snacks. Tantrums/tears will need to be attended to. And generally making sure that children are safe and not getting into trouble.
Sitting still and quiet for an extended period of time is difficult for children. Formal ceremonies and children just aren’t a natural mix. Interruptions are bound to happen. Perhaps you are ok with having the vows interrupted with a baby’s cries. Or maybe you have a good sense of humor and will get a little laugh out of a toddler running around the dance floor during your first dance. But if the idea of this makes you cringe, then this is going to be a big con for inviting children to your wedding.
Weddings are formal events and are meticulously planned. With such an adult environment, it doesn’t tend to lend itself to being kid-friendly. If the thought of an uncontrollable guest or the possibility that something could get broken or messed up is stressful to you, be honest with yourself. Plan your guest list accordingly.
This point goes along with the previous point well. Children at weddings can be stressful. Children will need to be constantly monitored. Your adult guests may also not feel like they can completely relax and enjoy themselves if they are concerned about children being around.
When you are looking at venues, you may be told that there is a guest limit that you will need to adhere to. If that’s the case, often children are included in that headcount so you will need to keep that in mind when you are creating your guest list.
On that same note, children will also add to the cost of your wedding. They will need to be fed and have place settings too. All of this has a price tag attached to it.
Kids will be kids. And kids tend to be full of energy and can be clumsy. There are so many things that can go south with children at a wedding. Missing rings. Toppled champagne towers. Confetti poured exactly where the venue said “absolutely no confetti”. And so much more. If this causes you anxiety, take it into account when deciding whether to invite children to your wedding or not.
Most weddings will run past children’s bedtime. This may result in really cranky children or your guests leaving the reception early.
One solution to this particular issue is to have an after party. The reception can have an earlier end time that guests with children and older guests can leave early without feeling like they are leaving early. And your guests that want to party into the night with you can do so without worrying about children.
Some wedding venues do not allow children. Other venues may not have a policy against it, but you may feel like it is disrespectful to the owners and property to have children run amok. As you weigh the pros and cons of inviting children to your wedding, consider whether your venue is really a good fit for them.